I have a confession to share. I heard someone sing a Christmas song over twenty years ago that changed forever how I hear someone sing. Confused? So was I.

Someone invited my family and me to this small country church. Christmas was just days away, so they decorated the small country sanctuary with poinsettias in every window. A tradition in many Baptist churches was about to unfold. This was a Sunday night sing. Everyone is encouraged to sing. It’s your chance to sing a solo, maybe join a quartet, or someone play an instrument. C’mon, one and all. Or maybe not.

This middle-aged man had already signed the official “Who’s singing tonight” list. I learned to say that he was slow. The term intellectually disabled is now used.

As we were being greeted by church members, a shall we say squabble was going on in the back of the church.

A prominent lady in the church was attempting to get this guy, we’ll call him Paul — not to sing. I’m shaking hands with folks, but my attention is on Paul and this lady; let’s call her Edith. Edith, Paul, and the sound man are having what I see is a one-sided conversation.

The sound man interrupts the greetings in this small church when he shouts, “he wants to sing, let him sing!”

All the church members and visitors alike heard and felt an awkward silence.

Edith sees that everyone is watching them. She quickly marches down the aisle, huffing and puffing, revealing she’s not getting her way.

The pastor greets everyone and invites us to join in the worship and celebration of Christmas. Holiday music has always been a favorite of mine. I grew up singing all the carols of Christmas. So, I was excited to be here and to join in the singing.

Several folks, young and old, took their turns singing for the crowd of maybe 40 people.

Even Edith! She had a reputation for being a talented singer. She proved that as she sang “O Holy Night” for her contribution to the night’s singing. That’s one of the hardest songs to sing!

Impressive is how I would describe her voice. Powerful, and technically correct in so many ways. However, its emptiness disturbed me. I’m here to worship, yet I’m feeling empty after hearing a beautifully sung song. What’s wrong? Is it me? How many times have you been in a church service to worship and it just ain’t happening?

Paul’s turn has now been called out from the list of singers. He has been sitting on the very back pew. It takes several moments for him to make his way to the front and grab the microphone. Whispers intermittently broke the silence. The whispers may as well have been shouts as it was obvious people were disapproving of Paul’s attempt at singing.

He announces his song for the night. It’s the “Little Drummer Boy”. Did I just hear a snicker from someone in the audience? I’m pretty sure it was Edith.

Paul has no accompaniment tape. He has no one playing the piano accompanying him. No one is encouraging him. There is no one supporting him. No one is helping this man. He has no one.

Whether it was from the uneasiness of the moment, or from just not knowing what to expect, not a sound was being made from the congregation.

Paul clears his throat. He sings with his head bowed low. I’ve got to tell you I was pulling for him, hoping he could at least make it through the song.

“Come they told me, pa rum pum pum pum”. Paul is barely audible. I struggle to hear him.

“Baby Jesus, I am a poor boy too, pa rum pum pum pum.” OK good, he’s singing a little louder, and it’s on key enough that everyone, even Edith, should feel he did a good job.

What happened next is what I remember every Christmas season. Paul raised his head, looking towards the ceiling. Tears flow from and down this man’s face like I’ve never seen before. What’s striking is that Paul is singing as he is crying. What is a difficult task for vocalists, regardless of skill? Why, it’s singing during a cry.

As he’s looking up, he sings the words, “Then He smiled at me, pa rum pum pum pum.” The biggest smile came over this man’s face. Whatever he was experiencing was contagious because the biggest smile came over my……… soul.

I saw a humble man, with no help from anyone, give all that he had to his Jesus. And Jesus smiled at him.

There in that small country church I saw true worship. I heard someone sing to their God. It wasn’t showy, superficial Edith. It was Paul. Just Paul. He showed his love to God, and I got to see Paul’s response as he knew God was smiling back at him.

All these years later, I enjoy talented singers. It’s fun to hear exceptional singers use their voices. But I’m always on the hunt for singers who sing from the heart. They sing to their God. They live for their God. And He smiles at them. He smiles not because of what we have or don’t have. He smiles because he loves. God is Love. Paul knows that. Do You?

You and I have no gift worthy of giving to a King. Yet, all God wants is you and me, just as we are. In this hurry-up, hectic world during the Christmas season, we lose focus. Busyness causes anxiety. Stress causes us to lose sight and sound of the true Christmas story.

For God so loved the world, that He GAVE us His only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16.

Watching and listening to Paul those 20-plus years ago still motivates me to sing from the heart. More importantly, Paul gave me encouragement to LIVE from the heart. It’s not what you do, but who He is that causes God to love you.

Does God love me? You’d better believe it. He’s got my picture on His Heavenly refrigerator door!

Merry Christmas everyone!

Dan Ainsworth Wilderness Preacher