Tag Archives: nature

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Faced With Knowing You’re Not Good Enough

Oops, I crossed the line

There I go, making ANOTHER mistake! Seems that I can’t do anything right. I mean, try as hard as I might, I’m still not good enough. I don’t know if I could be considered clinically depressed, but I’m dealing with depression. Oh, ahh, not supposed to admit that am I. In our society it’s ok to have a stomach ache, a headache, even a heartache. But no one admits when they have a mental ache……… aka depression. Well, I’m admitting it cause………well, what else can go wrong. I’m frustrated, aggravated, and just down in the dumps. Hey, I know, I know, it could be worse, but today, in my mind it’s bad.

I’m struggling with, of all things, the pressure I’m putting on myself. Hey, I don’t intend to be perfect, but can I at least stay in line when I cut the boards. My project today is so simple. Build a bird house. Can’t find the nails, can’t cut a board straight. When I nailed the boards together, one of them split. I mean what’s the use right?

Whoa, I hear what you’re thinking. “Toughen up Danny boy,…… it can’t be that bad.” “Get it together, son”. “Hey, you just need to get better, bro”. Probably the best thinking I’m hearing is this one………….. “Why don’t ya just give it up, cause you’re no good.”

Hey, you guys out there think I’m always positive and things are going great with me right? Well, here’s a news flash………..you ready?………….. Dan, the wilderness preacher, sometimes gets depressed. Yep, I personally deal with the monster called “you’re not good enough”. Sorry to make you feel uncomfortable right now, but odds are, you yourself have to fight the “you’re not good enough” monster yourself. What can we do?

As disappointed as I am in my birdhouse, I go ahead and hang it on a pole.

See, a couple hours earlier, a pair of mountain bluebirds were sitting on the light line, chirping and singing away. They were “telling” me, that they were looking for a place to nest this year. That’s what made me want to build a bird house, and build it right now!

All I can see though are mistakes, mistakes, and more mistakes. That is the most pathetic, most “terribleist”, most worsest, whatever………… it’s the most depressing looking birdhouse I’ve ever ……. wait…………………………………………………………………………………

Then it happened. Within 5 minutes of me putting up my poor, pitiful creation of a bird house,….. guess what? Both the male and female bluebirds were going in and out of the house. They were singing and chirping and “telling” me that they LOVED IT!!

Galatians 2:16 NIV know that a person is not justified by the works of the law, but by faith in Christ Jesus. So we too have put our faith in Jesus Christ that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by the works…….

Look at it this way. I was depressed because of how my “works” had caused my birdhouse to look so bad. But, and this is important……… I had FAITH that the bluebirds would come and live in my house. Enough faith to actually hang the birdhouse up even with all the “not good enoughs” within the works and construction.

Funny how a bluebird “of happiness” can make the monster of “you’re not good enough” go away. It’s hard to focus on all my mistakes, when that chirpy, singing, happy little bluebird has decided to come into my birdhouse…….. and into my life.

I don’t mean to belittle the subject of depression. Some people have to fight it and have even had a doctor tell them they are clinically depressed. Others, like me, get a good dose of it from just living in this world, dealing with frustrations, and all those “you’re not good enough” thoughts.

But there is a peace beyond understanding that comes from the fact that Jesus wants to come into our lives…… even with all our mistakes. We just have to make the decision to put our FAITH in Jesus.

Funny thing too is this. When He decides to move into our birdhouse/heart, our focus isn’t so much on our mistakes as it is on HIM.

I find a joy in my heart that the bluebird has made his home in my birdhouse. An even more amazing joy I have found by having Jesus make His home in my heart!!

What’s this got to do with you? Why not put your own birdhouse in your yard. Enjoy! Why not offer your own life to Jesus, let Him come in, focus on Him and not yourself. Live in Joy!

“Lord, would you help us deal with the monster of “you’re not good enough”. Would You live in our lives and help us see as You see! To you we give the honor and glory.”

See Ya! Dan Ainsworth wilderness preacher

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When You Follow The Wrong Path

The mountain lion was really a bunch of bull!

Boy, did I make a mistake.  Yep, ole mountain man has got to confess that he blew it.  Should of known better……..

There were tracks in the snow behind our log house.  Big tracks, tracks the size of my extended hand.  Something BIG had walked below our house.  Definitely not a deer, not a dog, it left a circular track with no claw marks.  That’s not a bear.  That looks like a ……….naw it can’t be.  Too big for coyote, or fox, or any other critter in the area.  I know what it’s not, just haven’t figured out what it is!  It’s too big for anything else.  The only thing it can be is a ………naw it can’t be that.  But it’s not anything else.  SO…..therefore it must be.  Yep, it’s mountain lion tracks.  I’m sure of it.  What else could it be?

Staci and I are exploring in the fresh 10 inch snow that is still falling on our property.  We cross this path of tracks and immediately begin to focus on what it is.  I saw a similar set of tracks years ago in the snow while elk hunting.  They were…… yep, they were cougar tracks.  A large cougar can have a big foot leaving tracks the size of your hand print (with extended fingers!)  That’s a big cat!  That’s what I was looking at here.  Any cat ( a mountain lion or your own little house kitty)  doesn’t leave claw marks when they walk.  There are no claw marks in these tracks either.  I am convinced based on my outdoor experiences that we have a cougar/mountain lion on our property.  So what do Staci and I do when we realize this?  Well, after a little (encouragement) from me, we BOTH start following the trail.  Staci did ask me what we will do if we catch up with the lion.  Hmmmm……… I haven’t planned that far ahead.  Actually the tracks appear to be a few hours old, based on the fresh snow that is partially filling them.  I’m too excited with the idea that a cougar has been on our property.  I want to see where he’s been and is going.  I don’t sense any danger… yet……….

We BOTH continue following the tracks for a way.  Guys, how do you feel when your partner in adventure is constantly second guessing you?   Staci is asking me, “Are you sure this is a good idea?  Do you really think this is a cougar?  What if he is just around the corner?   I try to to assure her (and myself), that everything is just like I see it.  AND THEN IT HAPPENED!!!!

As we were coming around the corner to our driveway, there he stood.  Huge, his hair covered in snow.  He was staring at us.  Looked like he was ready to run at any minute.  I was literally frozen for a split second.  (couldn’t even do the little girl scream I’m supposedly famous for)  My brain was concentrating on tracks, never thought I would see the animal face to face that had been making them.  But there he was……

A Big bull.  I’ve been following a bunch of bull!  Boy, do I feel stupid.  There is a stump in a Louisiana swamp that is smarter than me.  That’s how dumb I feel.  Staci is laughing (after she gets finished being scared), laughing at our situation and a little at me as well.

How did this happen?  I literally convinced myself that we were truly on a mountain lion trail.  Once convinced, I never took the time to truly look at what was going on.

Have you ever taken a wrong path in life?  Maybe didn’t know what you were getting into?  Maybe even to the point that you CONVINCE YOURSELF that this is a good idea?

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.  Psalm 119:105

On our Christian journeys and our walks with God,  I think we sometimes get ahead of God and His plan. Instead of totally hearing from God, we convince ourselves that we know what we are doing (or following).  We make the mistake of relying on ourselves…… and not God.

That’s where the Bible comes into play.  The Bible is a tool given to us to help us follow God’s will.  It is a light for our everyday paths.  How?  Look at it like this.  When I read my Bible whether a time of study, or maybe JUST my daily devotion, my focus is on God and His word.  It’s not on Dan and his limited source of knowledge.  The mystery behind reading God’s Word is that His Spirit helps us apply this scripture to our lives.  It helps us stay on course to follow the correct way.  (and that’s no Bull!)

If I hadn’t been so bull headed and stubborn, I might have realized that I was on the wrong trail.  But,……but…. I was convinced that I was right.  Here’s the problem.  I had convinced myself to follow what turned out to be a bunch of bull.  I don’t even need to follow myself.  I need to follow God’s will, not even mine.  Wheww, how do we do that?

By where we focus.  Focus on what God has in store for you each day.  One way to confirm, affirm, show the way,………. is to use the Bible.  It’s a light to help see.   Try it.  Grab your Bible.  Sign up for the many daily devotions that can come to your phone everyday.  You’ll be surprised how God speaks to little ole you through His scripture.  So many ways to study and read the Bible.  I’ll admit, it can get confusing as to the best way to use your Bible.  What book, what chapter, what should I read?

Try this.  Begin with the book of Proverbs.  Read a few verses.  (See how God’s light is coming on in your life?)  Want to know about God’s love for you?  Read a few verses from the book John every day.  You’ll see the “spiritual lamp” begin to shine in your thoughts and decisions.

God’s Word will provide a better way for you to see and follow God’s Will.  It will encourage you.  It will enlighten you.  It will protect you……. even from yourself.   And that ain’t no Bull.

“Lord I’m sorry when I try to make decisions on my own.  I need You.  I want You in my life.  Help me as I try to focus on you.  Help me as I read your Bible.  Help me to make it MY Bible from You!!  Amen.”

See Ya!! Dan Ainsworth wilderness preacher

 

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Birds of the Air

I feel like I’m at an airport.  This picture is showing pinion jays cruising in and out on their natural runways.  It doesn’t take long for these birds to find the food in my bird feeders.  Chickadees, jays, nuthatches, woodpeckers, red-winged blackbirds, grosbeaks, and some sparrows all come to dine at Dan and Staci’s buffet tree feeder.  Dang chipmunks and squirrels drop by as well.

They are all welcome.  It’s a joy and delight to watch these birds every morning,  Grab a cup of coffee, grab a front row seat (by the fireplace), and let the show begin.  Constant fly-ins, fly-outs, fly-bys, flying using those wonderful feathers God gave them to use.

 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Matthew 6:26

Hmmm…. if I just filled the bird feeders with sunflower seeds, then this can mean that God is using me to feed HIS birds !   In some small and seemingly insignificant way I’m being used by my God to fulfill His desires and His plans.  Never looked at it this way, just thought I was feeding the birds.

Maybe you have a bird feeder.  Hmmm……….maybe you have a “people feeder”.  What I’m getting at is this.  Each and everyday day you get a chance, an opportunity to help another person as they travel on their own journey.  It may seem small and insignificant….until you realize that God can use you and your “oh,it’s no big deal” opportunities…… to further His desires and His plans in other peoples lives.

Being used by God for His Purpose, His Desires, His Glory……… that’s a pretty good place to be!  It gives you a chance to bless and be blessed.  Being a part of God’s plan and handiwork is truly a desire of mine.  You and I don’t need to belittle or “shoot down” our small times of helping others.  A kind word here, a thoughtful act there, a prayer given for someone, a Christian deed done for another person,……..it all gives Glory back to God!

So,……put out a “people feeder” in your spiritual journey.  Fill it with whatever “bird seed” God’s given you to share.  It might be He’s given you His love to share.  Or share some of your  kindness, faith, and hope to others in this world.  After all, Jesus was given to you and me.  We in turn can share.  Small and insignificant you may think, but in the big picture you and your activities are fitting into the plans of God.

Helping somebody with a flat tire, letting someone use your phone, cheerful words, take ’em with ya to eat, ……..just listening to someone…., I could go on and on.  These are just the “bird seeds” that this someone needed.  Look-a-there!!   Your Heavenly Father feeds the birds of the air.  He also “feeds” His children!  And,…….you get to be a part of it!!

See Ya!  Dan Ainsworth wilderness preacher