Posted on

I Never Told Him Goodbye

I never told him goodbye.  Even when we were there as he drew his final breath.

My Daddy was a special man.  He and I had a special relationship.  He trained me well, whether it was the chores on the farm, or how to enjoy life, he gave me a lot of his insight and wisdom.  Most of the time I learned just by being with him.  There are many days I can remember riding with him in his beat up Chevy truck. Whether it was riding through the farm, (and opening all those gates) or a quick trip to town, my Dad and I would always have a good conversation about pretty much any and everything.

He loved life, sharing God’s love, and family.  That’s what he was all about.  He had a way with animals.  He could sense when the cow was sick, or when the chickens were hungry.  He knew how to grow some outstanding hay.  He knew when to cut the hay and when it was cured enough to harvest it.

Goodwater Baptist Church was a HUGE part of his and my Mother’s life.  All the people there were his extended family.  I truly didn’t mind “sharing” my father with them.

My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?
 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.
 You know the way to the place where I am going. John 14:2-4
I never told my earthly Father goodbye.  We always told each other “so long”.  “So long”, as in  we will be apart for a while, but then we’ll meet each other again.  My Dad is in Heaven.  I will see him again along with other friends and family.  Your friends and family will also be there.  Jesus promised us that.  He promised us that we all will be together WITH HIM!  Those are not just words.  This is how my Father and my family live.  We believe.
I will miss my Daddy.  But only for “so long”.  “So long Daddy.  I’ll see ya again!”
So long to all of you out there.  See Ya!!   Dan Ainsworth wilderness preacher
Posted on

If It Don’t Fit……..

Solving this Spiritual Mystery

I’m building a log chair.  Should be a rather simple process of putting a bunch of sticks together right?  But you see that one short log spindle laying on the ground in front of the chair?  That one piece has caused the whole log chair to not fit.  The small spindle was cut to fit on the left arm side.  When placed in the holes cut specifically for it, it fit!!  It fit perfect!!  But every one of the other spindles and logs were suddenly no longer tight.

Still in a delay and waiting on building the log house, I chose this log chair project as an afternoon chore.  A simple design, small logs and limbs readily available, the building task was begun.  But instead of a quick construction of my own chair, it became a time when I scratched my head, measured and re-measured.  This fitting together of several log pieces has become perplexing,confusing, and……..a mystery.

How can one piece cause all the others to not fit?  How can all the pieces of the chair fit tightly, until I add the one single perfectly cut piece.  Then the chair is as “loose as a goose”.

Honestly I never figured it out.  Maybe the holes were cut at an angle, or the spindle was bent, or my measuring was off.  What ever the reason, it didn’t fit.  So,……… I got rid of what I thought was the perfect fitting log spindle, and replaced it with another.  Lo and behold if the chair  now fits perfectly together all over.  The connections are tight.  I’m on my way to having a tight fitting homemade log chair.  Never quite figured out the mystery, but the chair is being completed.

8 that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding,9 he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, 10 to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ.  Ephesians 1:8-10 NIV

Friends, if I can’t figure out the mystery of my log chair, then this spiritual MYSTERY of how God wants to Be in our lives is even more complicated to explain.  Through Christ, God “constructs” a perfect fit for us to be with Him.  Our own way of thinking sometimes causes us to try to add what we think is a “perfect fitting piece” to our spiritual life.  But that seems like when our whole spiritual existence becomes “loose as a goose”.  Solution???  Better to let God do the measuring, the carving, the whittling in our lives.  Better to let God have control.  Why God would send His Son into the world for little ole me and you is….. well, it’s a mystery.

I love a mystery.  When the mystery is being lived out daily, maybe I need to focus more on the mysteries and not necessarily trying so hard to solve them.

I’m now looking forward to sitting in my log chair pondering life’s mysteries.  Knowing and believing my God has all the solutions gives me a relaxing fresh breath of life.  It’s still a mystery………

See Ya!   Dan Ainsworth wildernesspreacher, “scratchin’ my head as I go through life”.

Posted on

How I Know God Pulled Me to Colorado

The wilderness preacher's spiritual journey

To get to this most beautiful place you must break through the fence or better yet, head for the open gate!

About 4 or 5 years ago, I was facing a fence that couldn’t be crossed.  I was fed up with church/religion.  Sick mentally, physically, and spiritually from all the “going thru the motions”, the “I’m fine”, the “play church, it’s good enough for me” crowd.  Sharing with you from a person level here……and hoping it makes sense and that you will relate to it.

No, I wasn’t burnt out, I wanted to be on fire!  I wasn’t sick of people walking around and acting like they are dead, I wanted Me and them to come alive with this Christian way of life.  I wasn’t tired of hearing/talking/reading about Jesus in church, but I wanted more than a history lesson.  I wanted more. I wanted a living, loving, real relationship with my Lord and Saviour.  So I asked God could I have one.  I said a MOST POWERFUL prayer to receive this spiritual awakening.

Here it is.  I said, “Lord, HELP me!”   ……… and HE did!!

Out of the blue, I felt a pulling to go to a “men’s retreat”.  (I know now, God had a hand in all this, but at the time I was just seeking answers.)  The Noble Heart had this calling retreat.  Their goal, “helping you realize the life you are designed to live that brings life to others”.  Being what God created you to be!  That’s what I’m talking about!

So, at the “What’s Your Calling” session we had to gather pictures of things that we had a passion for.  Naturally all mine were outdoor pictures, a few pics of family…………… and a picture of two young girls.  Why did I pick that picture?  Well, it haunted me because from their body language I could tell they didn’t want to be there.  Someone was making them sit for the picture. They were being made to sit, stay, do something that they were not the least bit interested in.  They had cute faces, but that didn’t hide the scowl, nor the fact that they were wanting to be somewhere else.  And this……. it reminded me of ME in my church activities.  (Lightning hasn’t struck yet, so keep reading.)

I was asked a most troubling question at this retreat. (shout out to Jeff) Jeff asked me, “Tell us your story.”  HUH??  “Tell us what God is doing in your life, how you live each day being what God has created you to be.”

I’m fifty something at the time.  I’m an answer man at church.  I can quote scripture, give advice, have a prayer for you, tell you what you may be needing to hear.  But tell MY story.  I’ve never been asked to do this.  I broke down.

I broke down because I realized that for the first time in my spiritual life it’s not what I DO.  It’s what I BE.  I have lived my whole life doing good things, helping others, etc,etc.  But now Jeff, Gary, Sam, Ralph, and the other men are being used by God to help me. Help me to understand. My simple but powerful prayer was being answered.  God was more interested in a relationship with little ole me than the list of “good” things I was doing.

Jeff suggested that I get away.  “Religion”, not the true Christian walk had poisoned me.  I agreed.   So did God.

When hard pressed, I cried to the Lord; he brought me into a spacious place.  The Lord is with me…….  Psalm 118: 5-6 NIV  

Yep, That’s how I know God called me to Colorado.  You can’t get anymore spacious than that.  But what God did and continues to do for me spiritually is this…………….. He left the gate open!!!!   Woo hoo….Yea boy!

   

Spiritually, I had to come to Colorado so I could concentrate on BEING with God. (not so much on the doing).  I experienced true Christian Love at Horn Creek church camp.  I had a one on one discussion with my Lord and Saviour in an 1800’s era outhouse of all places.  (Best worship service ever for me!)

But most of all, I came ALIVE!!!  I wanted more out of my marriage, my work, my everything.  It wasn’t anything I did, it was all God and His love for me.

So,………. is there a fence between you and a Truly living, loving relationship with Christ?  What’s keeping you back from this abundant life?  It’s a big bad fence, I know, six strands of barbed wire, electric, with razor wire too.  But friend, hear me…….. God knows where the gate is,……and He’s leaving it open for ya!!!  What are you waiting for?

You may not physically be pulled to Colorado like I was, but I’m bettin’ you need God to get you to a most “spacious place”.  That for you could be on the back porch, the woods out back, that favorite tree.  Maybe it’s just beside the coffee pot.  Somewhere where you can feel God’s presence. God’s a lot bigger (and spacious) than we truly let Him BE! Go where you feel His Love, His Will.  It’s where You can just BE!   Then all the doing will fall into place.  And the best part about all that Doing!  It’s all done on the other side of the gate!!!! 

See Ya!!  Dan Ainsworth wilderness preacher, living in a spiritually spacious place!