“You’ve got to fish like a girl!” Those words still ring in my head. I was fishing with a professional guide on the Arkansas River. He gets paid to fish, and he gets paid to give advice. He makes a living by helping others be successful. Quite honestly, his success as a professional fishing guide depends on the success he gives others as they fish.

So, I hired this guy to help me learn more about fishing for trout in the river. Good guy, fun to be around, full of knowledge, and ready and willing to help me have a successful fishing trip.

We met at the local fly shop. He picked out various flies and lures that the fish had been biting lately. We had some small talk. (I think he just wanted to hear me talk, with that Southern drawl thang I got goin’ on ya’know!)

He asked me what goals I had as far as fishing the river today. I pondered the question. Should I say, “I want to catch twenty fish, or I want to improve my casting abilities, or I want to catch the largest trophy trout ever caught from these waters.?”

I think my answer was pretty clever. “I want to be successful today!” My answer to his question should cover any and all desires, goals, plans, …… whatevers that are out there. Make me SUCCESSFUL! Brilliant! He should be impressed, cause I am! Teach me O wise guide. Er, Ah,…… I know how to fish, just tell me your secrets, techniques, hidden skills so that I can catch more………… and be successful.

He looks right through me with that “this guy is full of it” look. Sizes me up as if he’s got x-ray vision with those sunglasses of his. Then he says this. “I don’t know if you can do it. But to be successful in life, in love, and in fishing, you’ve got to fish like a girl!”

Well, alrighty then! Didn’t know I was talking to a psychologist or some kind of life’s guru. I want to catch fish and he’s telling me that if I want to be successful in life I’ve got to “fish like a girl”?

This could be a most interesting day is what I’m now thinking. Is this guy going to guide me fishing, or is he going to tell me how to live my life? Come to find out,…… he did both.

As we wade into the water to begin our fishing adventure, my guide begins to explain. “Here’s what I mean when I say you need to “fish like a girl”. Every man I guide fishing does the same thing. They wade out into the middle of the river as deep as their waders will take them. Then they cast their lines out forty, fifty yards, or even more!!! Looks like they are trying out for one of those Hollywood movies. Trying to impress everyone, (mainly themselves). Listen, basically it’s all about themselves. How far they can cast, how deep they can wade. They think their technique is better than anyone else’s. When the fish don’t bite, it’s never their fault. A man fishes and it’s all about “me, myself, and I”.

“But when a girl fishes……” he continues. As he’s talking, a smile big as Colorado itself shines on his face. “When a girl fishes, she’s all about the experience of fishing. She will wade out into the water maybe ankle deep. She throws her line maybe 20 feet ahead of her. And by George, she catches fish. Here’s why. “

“She’s not all about herself first of all. She’s into the fishing. She doesn’t wade but ankle deep into the water. Don’t know exactly why this is, but….. this gives her an advantage to see the waters (and fish) ahead of her. She doesn’t have to impress herself and others by throwing the fly way, way out there. She throws it closer to her. This gives her more control. She can naturally present the lure better. Also, she can set the hook quicker.

This guy is good! He is definitely giving me lessons on flyfishing, (and life in general). What I’m realizing is to “fish like a girl” means to quit letting everything be about me, myself, and I. Focus on the fish, watch the waters ahead of you. The next cast. That’s all that matters.

The charm of fishing is that it is the pursuit of what is elusive but attainable, a perpetual series of occasions for hope. John Buchan

When us guys (and some ladies) go fishing, isn’t it about I, I, I? That’s why we get frustrated when we don’t catch anything. That’s why we get discouraged after fishing for a time. That’s why we want to “give up” and call it a day way too quick. It’s because we feel that we are not successful. You and I think that there is something about us that is “not good enough” that is causing us to not catch anything.

Whoever speaks on their own does so to gain personal glory, but he who seeks the glory of the one who sent him is a man of truth; there is nothing false about him. John 7:18

That scripture is telling us to “fish like a girl ” as well. See, if it’s all about you, whether in life, love, or fishing……. there is only so much to gain. It only takes you so far when it’s about me, myself, and I. Then it’s back to frustrations. But to see the whole truth. To BE REAL, in life, love, and fishing,…… then live your life and “fish like a girl”! Focus on what’s ahead. Focus on the experience not on yourself. In my way of believing AND living, that means focus on what God is doing in and around me. Live life each day talking (and listening) to God. How do you do that? Best way I’ve found to explain living like that is to …….. you guessed it…….. “fish like a girl”.

This week starts my ten day backcountry elk hunt/fly fishing trip with seven other guys. I’ll give you highlights to our adventure in a few days. Basically I’ll be guiding them into the Sangre de Cristo mountain range and teaching them to live and “fish like a girl”. Just don’t expect to hear any little giggling going on.

Ladies, girls,……. let’s go fishing. Allow me to tag along and fish with you. I’m pretty sure I can learn a lot from you. About fishing….. and life in general.

See Ya! Dan Ainsworth, wilderness preacher and now living life “fishing like a girl”